Phone Gags

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Phone Gags appear in Blood II: The Chosen as a humorous Easter Egg. If the player activates or picks up one of the ringing phones that appear throughout the game, an anonymous person will respond with some kind of humorous one-liner. This is a reference to the prank calls to Moe, a running gag on The Simpsons.

The original Blood game also had a single phone gag on the second level (E1M2: Wrong Side of the Tracks). In the train station's waiting room, if the player answered the ringing phone, the caller would say he would like "to speak to Mr. Jass, first name Hugh."

The phone gags were conceived by Kevin Kilstrom, Garrett Price, Andy Eddy, and Dan Amrich and performed by the Blood II voice cast.

List of Phone Gags[edit]

The following is a comprehensive list of all the phone gags in Blood II, some of which were not used in the final version of the game.

  • Hello? Hello? Hah, gotcha, it's just my answering machine, I'm not really home. So, why don't you just leave a message and I'll call you back later. Hey, wait for the beep. Beep.
  • Um, good morning, afternoon, evening, Mr.… Cal-eeb. I'm with a market research firm, and we're doing a survey on computer games. This call is not an attempt to sell you anything. First question, are you currently or have you ever been a character in a computer game?
  • The forecast for the greater purgatory region is for widely scattered flames with an occasional inland lava flow. Temperatures should be in the mid-4,000 degree range. Be sure to check the Purgatory weather hotline later today for tomorrow's forecast. It promises to be a scorcher. Still no sign of snow. At the tone, the time will be 11:57 PM.
  • The number you have reached is not in service at this time. Please stay on the line like an idiot and no one will answer. This is a recording.
  • I have a call for Oliver Clothesoff.
  • Why can't I find Amanda Huginkiss? Can you help me find Amanda Huginkiss?
  • Do you have a B.O. Problem there?
  • Somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass.
  • Hello, I am looking for a Jacques Strap.
  • When I was young we didn't have any fancy Tesla Cannons, we had to kill zealots with our bare hands. And we liked it!
  • Who is this? Stop calling here!
  • When I was young we didn't have any Singularity Generators, we had to kill the Drudge Priests with our bare hands! And we liked it. You get up and grab his bone leech and rip his head off.
  • When I was young, we didn't have any Life Leeches, we had to kill those Soul Drudges with our bare hands! We had to bite their legs off and they'd keep comin' back. We didn't care, we liked it that way.

See Also[edit]