File:Welcolme-To-The-Fun-House.jpg

"Welcome to the fun house" by TheInsaneDarkOne for antcow.

Source: https://www.deviantart.com/antcow/art/Welcome-to-the-fun-house-1-Balloon-529802596

^{"After a late drunken bender at his favorite bar, world hero (ant not at all an ego maniac) Duke nukem wakes up to the smell of stale popcorn, cotton candy and blood. With the sound of repetitive carnival music assaulting his ears compounding the throbbing of hang over, Nukem tried to remember what happened after beer number 56 and random woman number 9 from the night before but could not recall how he ended up in what he beheld as a far more creepy than usual carnival. And creepy it was, what with the severed heads lined up ready to be kicked into the giant mouth at the end of the game kiosk. 'I'll swallow your soul!' said a high pitched voice Knocking aside barrels from between kiosks, a disembodied hand scurried toward Duke with its dirty cracked nails as it clicked-clicked-clicked in attack. Catching the attacking hand mid-leap, Nukem crushed it in his own grip to toss it aside. Nukem was soon under attack from a band of freaks that were freakier than the usual aliens he often crushed on his own, but they died all the same. 'caecux infirmux!' screamed a black robed man spraying a tommy gun. 'Your mother!' Nukem yelled back after freezing him, and kicking the victim apart. With most of the insane carnival burning and falling over, Duke was confronted by a pitchfork wielding cowboy. He wasn't like the others, his red eyes betrayed a killing drive like his own. Kick ass and take names.......just insane and dark. 'New blood, new strength.' he said in a wet and gravely voice before leaping forward with his blood tainted pitchfork in attack. Whipping out his trusty shrink ray, Nukem fired, punch line already leaving his lips......" — Accompanying text}

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